My Walks of Life

"Are you still doing that?" commented an acquaintance few days ago when my two-year-old daughter ,Aufa clambered onto my lap and demanded "Nak cak ummi!" What, until that time, had been a normal, nurturing part of raising a baby, suddenly became an offensive act of which to be ashamed. I found myself justifying my reasons for feeding a walking, talking toddler, as though I were somehow continuing to nurse my daughter for my own gratification and not because my daughter had chosen not to want to be weaned off the breast. Nobody can force an unwilling child to breastfeed and more often than not a child will wean herself or simply lose interest in taking the breast, so the previous argument immediately becomes invalid.

Naturally, breastfeeding a toddler is not without its problems. I have had to teach my daughter that if I sit down, it is not an automatic invitation for a comfort suck and this particularly applies when we are in situations when it would not be prudent to feed her, such us in public for example. Although I have no problem with breastfeeding in front of other people, as she can hide beneath my tudung (so grateful Islam oblige us to wear tudung),but, I am also sensitive to others' feelings and I would not wish to offend the more prejudiced with an open display of nursing a fully mobile, verbally communicative child.

Finally, the most important factor in any choice that a woman makes with regard to breastfeeding is that it has to be her decision and no one else's. Forget social pressures, forget "well-meaning" advice from friends and family and ignore insensitive or callous comments. A mother has to do what she feels is right for herself and her baby. If she is feeling ambivalent and is coerced into doing something against her will simply to please others, she will inevitably end up feeling guilty, resentful and unhappy and what benefit is that to a baby?